Saturday, October 8, 2011

The Big Empty Wasteland of Indefinable Angst.

It’s a funny crowded world for everyone else. It certainly isn’t your world. It’s a world of pot bellies and clown cosmetics that melt like a bad wedding cake in some Houston community center. You tell yourself there are few things as unappealing as when one of these women begin to cry, except maybe the reason for the tears. Every now and then you realize the air is heavy with deodorants, colognes, after shave, perfume and god knows what else. You haven’t worn anything like that since you were a callow youth. People are eating suspicious sausages that could have just about anything in them. Their iceboxes are stuffed with processed foods that have unpronounceable ingredients which can run up to sixty five letters. You can’t imagine how they can eat that stuff but you do know what the long term effects are. You have never really understood ordinary porn, tit jobs, facelifts or any of that shit. You can’t figure out how something like that would actually turn anyone on. It’s totally geared toward dehumanization and a calculated insult to all of the finer and nobler possibilities of the human spirit, even though you haven’t seen any of that for a really long time

Sometimes you sit and wonder about people who become lawyers, politicians, just about any of the things people put such an investment in. You can’t figure out how any of it became so important to anyone. You can’t figure out how these people manage to take themselves so seriously. You’re amazed at their capacity to drink themselves senseless for such an extended period of time. It blows your mind that they could have been married multiple times and stitched up with alimony, festering resentments and disaffected progeny, with money games going on like it was some kind of a heroin habit. You can see then dressed out in a box at some point surrounded by people who didn’t like them but are now forced to search with great difficulty for something nice to say.

You’ve never met them but you know that there are people out there that sell munitions, who torture animals and people and others who are making unpleasant decisions about people and digging the power rush that comes with fucking up people’s lives just because they can. You really cannot understand how such a large body of people bought into so many impossible lies or barbaric religions that engage in so many terrible activities against their fellows. Something’s not right in Wonderland and it hasn’t been for a long time. You can’t understand how they are going to find their way out of all of this and you suspect that they won’t. How can they voluntarily condemn themselves to such guaranteed suffering over such massive tracts of time? It’s a mystery is what it is.

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